Dr. Ashley Itzhakian, Ph.D.
What happens within us shapes what happens between us.
I am a clinical psychologist, a mom of four, and a cycle breaker. My work explores how our nervous systems, attachment patterns, experiences, and relationships shape the way we show up in the world—and with the people we love.
Through psychology and education, I help people understand themselves and their relationships differently.
Relationship-focused psychology
Therapy, education, and the patterns beneath our patterns
You want to show up differently—in your life, your relationships, and your parenting—but in the moments that matter most, it can feel hard to stay calm, connected, and in control.
Even if you “know better” it still seems like you can’t do better. This is because your nervous system and past experiences are shaping your responses in real time.
Through psychology and education, I help you understand yourself and your relationships differently.
Understanding Ourselves Changes How We Relate
So much of what happens in our relationships begins within us.
A comment from someone we love can activate something much bigger than the moment itself. A child's behavior can trigger fear, anger, or helplessness. Conflict with a partner can bring us into familiar patterns of pursuing, withdrawing, defending, or shutting down.
Sometimes we think the problem is simply what is happening between us. But understanding what is happening within us can change what happens next.
My work sits at that intersection—where psychology, nervous system regulation, attachment, and relationships meet.
Psychology for Real LifeWhat happens within us shapes what happens between us.
Psychology isn't only something that happens in a therapy room. It can help us understand the way we parent, communicate, handle conflict, respond to stress, and relate to ourselves and the people we love.
Psychology for Real Life
Psychology isn't only something that happens in a therapy room. It can help us understand the way we parent, communicate, handle conflict, respond to stress, and relate to ourselves and the people we love.
My work explores three interconnected areas:
WITHIN
Understanding our internal world—our emotions, nervous system, triggers, stress responses, experiences, and patterns.
What is happening inside me?
BETWEEN
RESPONSE
Understanding what happens in our relationships—attachment, communication, conflict, connection, boundaries, and relational patterns.
What is happening between us?
Creating space between what we experience and how we respond.
How do I want to show up?
The Regulated Relationship™
WITHIN · BETWEEN · RESPONSE · REPAIR
What happens within us shapes what happens between us.
The Regulated Relationship™ is the developing framework at the center of my work. It is rooted in a simple idea: our internal experiences and our relationships are deeply connected.
When we understand what is happening within us, we can begin to respond differently to what is happening between us.
The goal isn't perfect relationships. It's developing greater awareness, regulation, intentionality, connection, and capacity for repair.
The framework can be applied across parenting and partnership, family and friendship, and our relationship with ourselves.
Awareness, connection, repair
Four questions guide the work: What is happening inside me? What is happening between us? How do I want to show up? What do we do when things don't go well?
Parenting Education
Parenting differently starts with understanding.
My parenting education work helps parents understand what may be happening beneath their child's behavior while also paying attention to what is happening within the parent and within the relationship.
Intentional, not perfect
Child and adolescent development
Anxiety in children and teens
Emotional and nervous system regulation
Connection, communication, boundaries, and discipline
Attachment and intentional parenting
Breaking generational cycles
Topics include
The goal isn't to become a perfect parent. It's to become a more intentional parent—one who can pause, understand, regulate, respond, hold boundaries, and repair.
Explore parenting education
About Dr. Ashley
Understanding the patterns beneath our patterns
Psychologist. Mom. Cycle Breaker.
I am a clinical psychologist, a mom of four, and a cycle breaker myself. My clinical work is grounded in evidence-based approaches, including Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Interpersonal Psychotherapy (IPT), while my broader work draws from attachment theory, interpersonal neurobiology, and perspectives on nervous system regulation.
Psychology, education, and conversation
I'm interested in the things we learned, the ways we adapted, the moments that activate us, the relationships that shape us, and the possibility of responding differently.
My work extends beyond the therapy room through psychological education, writing, speaking, and conversations about what it means to understand ourselves and relate more intentionally.
Relationships
Because our relationships shape us.
Our closest relationships can bring out both our greatest capacity for connection and our most familiar patterns of protection.
My broader work explores attachment, emotional regulation, communication, conflict, interpersonal patterns, emotional safety, and repair. Understanding relationships isn't simply about learning how to communicate better. It's about understanding why we relate the way we do.
Location
Westlake Village Office
5655 Lindero Canyon Road
Building 500, Suite 501
Westlake Village, CA 91362
In-person care is available in the surrounding Los Angeles and Ventura County communities. Telehealth available for California residents.
Stay Connected
Psychology you can bring into everyday life.
Practical, psychology-informed reflections on relationships, parenting, emotional regulation, attachment, communication, boundaries, and breaking generational patterns.